Watching Sitcoms

Tell me, where do they find all these crazy people? No, I’m serious. I mean, who, in their right mind, would want to get their lousy 15 minutes of fame by acting like a freak on national TV? Like, was it absolutely necessary for me to watch some random fat guy in a Princess Leia costume get his chest hair waxed? Ewwwwww!!! And what was with all the Princess Leia stuff anyway? I mean, Carrie Fisher is on some other reality show now, isn’t she? Can’t they go torment her with that crap?

Look, I understand that American Idol is just for entertainment and not to be taken too seriously, but some of those people are just beyond the pale. (If you think I’m making that phrase up, I’m not. Go google it. Alright, fine. Here’s a reference from Dickens [The Pickwick Papers] that completely covers my meaning: “I look upon you, sir, as a man who has placed himself beyond the pale of society, by his most audacious, disgraceful, and abominable public conduct.” )

In any case, I did notice that everyone is up to their old tricks this year. Ryan, causing issues quietly and looking though he really cares; Randy, consistently taking offense at anything and everything; Paula, seemingly more sober, but still never wanting to disagree with anyone who says yes (more on that later); and, Simon, being Simon. I do have to note that this year Simon seems more relaxed and playful. He was letting people through normally he wouldn’t. I think, mostly to see Paula’s confusion. She always wants to let everyone through to Hollywood, so she feels the need to agree with anyone who says yes. If Randy says yes, she agrees, if Simon says yes (although she’d rather not agree with him), she says yes.

And why not let that little boy through, the one who hasn’t kissed a girl? He wasn’t bad at all. Honestly, I thought they let through lots of other people who weren’t nearly as good. What’s wrong with never having kissed a girl by 17 years old anyway? Seventeen isn’t that old. We expect kids to grow up too fast. Would it have been better if he had two illegitimate kids with two different mothers by 17, or just more accepted as normal?

And, as far as the white feathery caped bird guy, I didn’t think he sang too bad, actually. I mean, he’s no American Idol, but he was very nice. And he wrote that song that Simon said would be a hit. I’m almost convinced, because the silly song stayed with me for days afterwards, “I am your brother, your best friend forever . . .”

Finally, I was really looking forward to AI, and it didn’t disappoint, so I just want to give shoutouts to some of the more memorable contestants: the cute chick whose model husband loves her, fingernail guy, cute dredlock guy, that weird Douglas who they escorted out, and whatever other colorful people I may have missed. I have to say the one person I rememnber as good was Junot from the first night. I’ll be on the lookout for him during Hollywood week.

American Idol