Watching Sitcoms

Can I say how much I’m not loving American Idol this year? I don’t like Kara DioGuardi, the new judge. I wish we could get rid of her. Nowish. Also, I’m not happy about the way they have divided the top 36 into three random groups. What if there are more than three awesome people in one of the groups and 12 duds in another group? Are they planning on ending up with 6 guys and 6 girls? Who is asking these kinds of questions, cause clearly no one consulted me on any of this. I have a lot of questions and I’m not gonna be easy to impress tonight.

At this point, since we’re only gonna get three contestants from this twelve, I don’t even want to bother learning these people’s names. If I’m picking them right now, I want Danny Gokey, Anoop Desai and, um, a girl. Actually, I want Michael Sarver. Can we just pretend he’s a girl?

Jackie Tohn sings A Little Less Conversation. I hate her outfit. No, wait, I just hate her. The only person who ever did this song justice, since Elvis, was JPL, and then only because of his dancing. The judges liked her, but her singing voice wasn’t great. Isn’t this all about a recording contract? Would you buy her voice on a recording? I would not.

All I can think of right now, is I wish we weren’t watching this live so we could fast forward through all this annoying and embarrasing family crap.

Ricky Braddy is clearly fodder. When have we ever seen this guy before? Who is gonna vote for someone they’ve never seen unless he’s amazing? He sings A Song For You. OK, he’s really good. But that just makes me feel sorry for him, cause I’m pretty sure that he’s not gonna be the high vote getter. He’s in the forgettable second spot and we’ve never seen him before now.

Alexis Grace is next. When did her hair get pink? She’s singing Never Loved a Man, Aretha Franklin. She looks adorable (even though when I was younger we would have put a dress over that slip) and I like her sound. It’s a little dated, but maybe it’s time for someone with soul. If I have to pick a girl, I can live with her, but she is annoying me just a little. I hate when they hold up their fingers for the number to call.

NPH is in the house!!! You go, Dr. Horrible.

Brent Keithis singing some random country song. I don’t care enough to look up the title. He does have cute dimples and his own little sob story, plus there was that whole embarrasing wrong tape issue before he sang, but I don’t think any of that is enough to save him.

What has happened to Bucky Covington? I asked Laura that question, and then, as though he could hear me, Simon asked Paula. Perfect.

This whole thing with the parents is very awkward and uncomfortable. I wish we didn’t have to endure it.

Stevie Wright is cute, but I think she also falls into the fodder category. She sings You Belong With Me, Taylor Swift. It starts out way too low, she’s out of tune and her voice is in no way strong enough for the song. She sounds scared. About half way through, my husband says, “If this was The Gong Show, she’d be gone already; she belongs on Canadian Idol.” Yikes!

Her parents are confused about where the judges want Stevie to go? They want her to go someplace where she sings good, that’s what they want. And she didn’t. This show is really bad. It could be so much tighter and more interesting. Who cares about these kids parents? I mean, really?

Anoop Desai sings Angel of Mine, Monica. I really loved Anoop going into this. Not only does he have one of the best voices of the men this year, his name is Anoop. Anoop. Anoop. I just love saying that. His voice is very smooth and nice, but I didn’t think this was the best song choice. I would have liked him to bring a little more energy.

Why is it that everything Kara says seem to have a sexual connotation?

I’ve just realized that we’re only half way done with this. Why do I put myself through this every year?

Casey Carlson sings Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic, The Police. I hate songs where they change the pronouns from “she” to “he” or vice versa. Fortunately, we won’t have to hear any more of her, cause she really sucked. That was the best review in the room. Well, Laura did say it’s sad, cause she’s so pretty.

Michael Sarver is one of the few cute straight guys on Idol this year. I doubt he has a chance, no matter how good he is. He sings I Don’t Want To Be, Gavin DeGraw. The song was a little too big for him and he didn’t really add anything to it. Which makes me sad, cause I like him. But since only one guy is definitely going through tonight, I don’t think it’s him. But maybe he’ll be next top vote getter or a wild card pick.

Anne Marie Boskovitch looks way older than 22 to me. My husband just said she looks 32. But she is really pretty. She sings You Make Me Feel (Like a Natural Woman), Aretha Franklin. What’s with all these skinny white chicks singing Aretha? She was good, but not great. Alexis was better. And remember, this is Thunderdome, only one girl gets through.

Stephen Fowler has no chance. Even if he remembers the lyrics right now, I don’t think we’re going to be seeing any more of him after tonight. He sings Rock With You, Michael Jackson. He’s sorta like Stevie Wonder does Michael Jackson. If Stevie had no rhythm and sings out of tune. I’m not buying it. Sorry, Stephen/Stevie.

Laura just said, “What a weird night. Where’s Danny?”

I never thought I’d be excited to hear Tatania del Torosing, but I am so ready for something interesting to happen tonight. She sings Saving All My Love For You, Whitney Houston. It looks like she cut her hair, or are those just extensions? Interesting. How many times do they have to tell these girls, do not sing Whitney? Its never a good idea. I have to say, as much as I’d rather not, she has a more powerful voice than any of the other girls who sang this evening. Plus, she has Vote for The Worst backing her up, so maybe she’ll be the only chick to leave Thunderdome alive. I do miss the crazy laughter, though.

I’m beginning to feel like I could have missed this whole show and just tuned in at 9:50 pm to see Danny Gokey and catch the numbers. Not that I plan on voting for anyone, but still.

Danny Gokey sings Hero, Mariah Carey. I’ve liked him from the start, sob story or not. I think he’s being really pimped though, which I don’t like. Also, I don’t like his song choices, they’re just weird. But he knows what he does well, cause he knocks it out of the park again. I really, really like him. He was hands down the best of the night, boy or girl. He is so clearly Top 10. (Not 12 mind you, cause this guy has to make the tour.)

OK, I stand by my choices up front. Going through tonight, Danny Gokey, Anoop Desai and some girl. My husband says it will be Alexis Grace, but I’m secretly hoping for Tatania Del Toro, just for the melt down potential.